Rhapsody # 12 :: What About Life?

I keep thinking and thinking.

Could not stop the pondering these few days.

It seems that we all realised many things after the left of Jen Ruw.

A status I saw few days ago on Facebook.

It's something like 'we all knew death is anytime...'...

And...yes. We all knew it. Anytime, maybe next second, next day, next week...or what ever...

We Do Not Know.

But sometimes we tend to forget that, the 'Anytime' is including now, maybe.

'If you know you are going to die tomorrow, what should you do?'

We never know.

I saw many friends of mine, living an usual life as I'm attending a Wake service and a funeral.

Of a very young-only-20 years old-brother.

I heard many regrets from people around him...and yes, I have too.

We seems to become closer after camp, or maybe our first chairing together in camp.

Many things to talk to, and sometime disturbing each other......

Until now I still thanks for the chairing arrangement.

Although many funny things were happened. But if without the chance, I guess I won't cry so hard for this...because I never have a chance to get close to him.

Thank you. Now I have it, but it's gone when I could not even catch it too tight.

There're a lot of 'next time' between me and Jen Ruw.

Next time we chairing together again, sing 'still'... He smiled with the face like cannot see his eyes and said this.

Next time you come and join our basketball practices... He typed very fast on the FB chatter even I can felt his happiness.

This is the first time I see you wearing skirt, very weird (= =+), next time wear again lar I want to see... He was cooking in the church's kitchen and suddenly he shout out inside there when I passed by.

Next time...next time...and next time again.
But there isn't another 'next time'.

Oh ya..and the 'selfish' thing..haha

On the night we discussing for chairing. He keep on saying 'Still, I want still, we make a Hillsongs chairing XD We want to make it better then PAW...'

I keep on begging him 'Don't want lar... always still still still...T.T'

Then he said 'Yer! Selfish!' and I laugh at him XD

The first night in camp, when the chairing about to start, it was raining.

Cyrus came in and told us to make the chairing longer, maybe sing more songs...

And, immediately he turned to me, *with the funny smilling face again that cannot sees the eyes... 'Still!' -> With a surely voice.

And the Friday before we celebrated Brothers' Day, he came, took all me and Amy's left out Big Apple and eat; and asking us to do the handmade keychain for him. (Oh we said 'next time' again...)
He sat down and started 'banyak tangan' looking for my stuff...pressing my laptop keyboard, looking things inside my pencil case, took out all my pens and stationeries, drawing on my sticker paper which I suppose to keep for next usage...he drew a 'ROAR!' which he usually did drawn, use my scissors to cut it out and simply pasted it on my water bottle....

I just can remember my reaction that time was like -> '......' (Speechless dots...)

Oh ya! He was the last person whom I gave my name card to! I wonder did he kept it....= =

.... .... .... .... Many many I wanted to share... ... but I just found I'm only at the so called 'beginner' stage to understand this person. Nothing much. I don't even got this chance to talk about God with him..And not even a yamcha section...

This pass few days, I just tired with so many status I saw in FB...
Probably enjoying, making nonsense, arguing, complaining, scolding people, cursing, hating, some declaring to change, to make good, to show kind......but what is the result of this?

Time won't wait, but God always waiting for us.
To realise our sins, to repent, to accept Him, to be saved!

If you want to 'change your life', why don't you save yourself first? Ask for God, He is the one who can only save you.